It’s been 4 months since I stopped believing in God and started believing in myself and my passion, music and dance.
4 months ago,
I was reading the story of BTS(famous Korean Band) and got to know that they are also Atheist(I do not know whether this is true or not) and they made it to the top of mountain by believing in their music and dance. Many questions popped up in my mind?
“Does God really exist?”, “Is it okay if I also do the same?” And quickly I searched on my phone-‘Does God really exist?’ and as a result I got a conclusion that- We don’t know whether God has made us, or we have made the God.
What my heart was saying to me was that yes you can try becoming an Atheist because in my 14 years of life journey I saw many people believing in different religions and praying to the God for something good to happen but I think that the wish of only those is fulfilled who believe in themselves and work on to achieve that ‘something’ which could be anything from achieving good grades to get your lover back. And as you guys can conclude that in that month I changed my perspective of watching the world. I saw the world as beautiful place where their are many good and bad foots on the floor, many fighting in life and many enjoying happily. Before becoming an Atheist I saw the world as place where God’s child come and live and go back.
This month, September 2020,
I belong to a Hindu family, I told my sister that I have given auditions for kpop idol and I am very nervous about the results and she was like everything will be okay, just believe in God, I was like I do not believe in God, I believe in myself and my passion, and will not show my atheism until and unless I become dependent on myself. She was like- GOD WILL CURSE YOU, ARE U MAD? And after that I said their are many successful personalities in the world those who are Atheists and are blessed by their passion not cursed by God. She was like “Yeah, everyone has their own perspective of seeing the word and we cannot change it”. Even I replied that yes you can believe in God and I can just believe in myself and the talk peacefully ended.
My mom asked me to start ‘puja-paath’ and keep fast for Navratra which is a festival of Indians in which we keep fast for atleast 9 days. I said “Sorry mom, no”. She was like okay no problem but from tomorrow you will light up the diya in the evening and I was like-“Why?”
And them the fire lit up (Just kidding)
She guessed right that I want to say that I do not believe in God. She said that I won’t be able to live in the world, those who are Atheists are mad. I said that no mom, their are many in the world who are Atheists and are very successful. And what is the problem in being an Atheist. She said” who told you all these things, why you suddenly changed, we are all from a religious families and see yourself” she was very annoyed at that time. I was going to continue something but my father said that”Stop it!(not in a rude way) and listen to your mom, just light up the diya in the evening and that’s enough.”
Even I wanted to end the debate so I said that “Mom everyone has their own perspectives and I am just stating myself.”
My mom said something which I expected from her -“I think this is because you want to live outside your country, but listen to me living outside your own country is not easy as it looks.” Yeah I agree but I think trying something (living outside of your own country) is not a sin.
Also at the same time she opened Facebook and saw a post stating that a famous Hollywood actor(I forgot the name) has started reading Bhagvad Gita and she showed it to me and said”see even those not of your country are reading Bhagvad Gita”. I was like, “Mom I am saying that I do not want to make other people Atheist but I just want to live my life by just believing in my own self. My father interrupted in between and said ” Will you stop arguing?”. I was like”What dad, I am not arguing, I am just showing my own self and when you have no reasons to prove me wrong, you say that I am arguing”. He still replied that “Yes, you are arguing”. I lost my temper and said “sorry mom and dad, for telling you that I am Atheist and I will do what you will say”
My parents are still in shock because they don’t want me to be an Atheist as we belong to a religious family. I am still crying not about the fact that I am an Atheist but because my parents don’t support my decisions. I know that they are worried about me but still their are many Atheists who are living their lives peacefully.
I changed my own perspective but I don’t want to change someone else’s as everyone have their own religious beliefs. I will never ever force anyone to be an Atheist and will respect everyone’s religion.
But, will anyone respect me and my decision? Does everyone will hate me for being an Atheist? Will my parents support me or they will scold me forever for being an Atheist? I am ready to accept the world as it is but will I get negative comments from few people?
I will only know the answer when I will become a freebee but till then I need to do what my parents say as I know that they are never going to support my decisions. If anyone of you is hurt while reading it I am really sorry but even I will neither force anyone to change nor I will ever disrespect any of the religion.
Take care guys, Good bye and I will surely write a blog on the day when I will become a freebee and people will treat me like normal.
Good night, Sweet dreams guys!!!